Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Today has been such a whirlwind of events and emotions. Today after work I headed to Target. My period was two days late. I had talked myself out of going at first but then I gave in and went. I couldn't help it. I walked into the store, walked straight to the right aisle, and picked up the normal box of pregnancy tests. I remember thinking in my head I was just setting myself up for disappointment. It had happened the same way so many times in the past. I purchased the box and headed home. I took the pregnancy test and I was completely shocked that it came back positive! Really? Was this really happening? I started shaking and had to calm myself down. Taylor was still at school working on a lab. I just stood there taking it all in. I waited a while then took another test. Once again...positive. I had so many emotions running through me. I was so excited, yet so scared and nervous. Every time this happened in the past it turned out to end in heartbreak. But why be sad? As far as I know there is a healthy baby in there. I decided we are going to make it a great day and celebrate, because at least for today I am pregnant! I have a little baby inside me! We don't know the fate of that baby, but it is there, and I love it so much.
I decided to take a trip to the store and bought some baby bottle pop candy. I was just going to get that to surprise Taylor but then I couldn't help myself. I went and walked down the baby aisle. I can't remember that last time I did that. But this time there wasn't that horrible heartbreaking pain. Today I could enjoy the baby section. I picked up a box of pacifiers and added them to my purchase. I came home and arranged the items, along with the two pregnancy tests, on the bed then put a load of laundry by the items on the bed. Taylor ended up staying late at school to finish his lab and it seemed like it took so long for him to come home. When he walked in the door he came and said hi. After a few minutes I asked him if he would mind folding the laundry on the bed. He walked into the bedroom and soon came out with the biggest smile on his face and gave me a hug.
It is so crazy. We just don't know really how to feel about everything. We have so many emotions going on at the same time. We are hoping and praying this won't be another miscarriage, ectopic or heartbreak. That is all we have had. It is all we have known. We are hoping this is the time that we bring a baby home in our arms. We are so scared and nervous for where this path will lead us. We are so excited that we have another baby! This is number 5! We love this baby so much already.
After gathering our thoughts for a little bit and after a while of just standing and staring at the baby items and tests on the bed we finally decided it was time to tell the parents. We have always told our parents when we found out. It has been a great decision for us. We know that no matter how it turns out we have their love and support and they will be there for us. We called my mom and she was excited but also apprehensive, as we were. Taylor's mom was just as excited and hopeful. We know there will be a lot of prayers and fasting coming our way. There are so many people that love this baby already.
Tomorrow I will be calling our fertility doctor office to see what we do from here. We haven't been in the process of treatments with them this month, but we are still hoping they will be the ones to do all the testing until we know what exactly will be happening with this pregnancy. There are still a lot of tests to go before we see how this all will turn out. Either way there will be ups and downs. But, for now, we are so enjoying this day. Today we are pregnant, and we have added a 5th child to our family!
Amberly, sounds like we've had some similar experiences. Hope all goes well this time.
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