Each post was written on the day listed but we waited to post it. If you know where we currently are in this journey please do not give it away in the comments until the final post, part #6, is posted.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Today I got up early and went with Sara to the temple. I was excited to go and do a session. I was worried though since I have been feeling pretty nauseous the past few days. The session went really great and it was great to be at the temple as always. I ran a few errands then came home to get ready for my cousin's baby shower. Everything was going as I had planned for my day but then I started bleeding. My heart sank and I immediately started crying. I walked into the other room where Taylor was and he held me and just let me cry for a while. There is still a chance this pregnancy could be fine, in fact they told me it is pretty normal with the progesterone, but every time this happened in the past it has been miscarriage or ectopic. We both felt so devastated, even though we don't know for sure what is happening. I will be on bed rest the rest of today and tomorrow and then I will get levels done on Monday morning still to see where they are and that will pretty much tell us if this baby is going to make it. We sat and talked about how we have done everything that we have been able to do to start a family. We have prayed and fasted, had more doctor appointments that we can count, had 3 IUIs, started Making Someday, we also have our race coming up and it still hasn't happened for us. It's extremely frustrating. However, we still have hope. Whether it's this pregnancy or another one we have been promised we will have a baby of our own in this life. Heavenly Father NEVER breaks his promises. We reminded ourselves of that promise. We have to keep going. Whether this pregnancy works out or whether this baby becomes our 5th angel we still have hope and we just have to keep going and pushing through. Yes, it is hard. Extremely hard at times. Sometimes we just want to sit down and give up on everything, but we can't. Taylor pulled out his computer and we watched some conference talks. They gave so much hope and peace to our situation. This isn't easy to go through at all but we can make it through with Heavenly Father's help. He knows whats best for us and our situation. He knows what lessons we need to learn. Our trust is still in Him. We will still get our baby someday, whether that is sooner or later.
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