Each post was written on the day listed but we waited to post it. If you know where we currently are in this journey please do not give it away in the comments until the final post, part #6, is posted.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Today has been a pretty uneventful day. I spent the day just resting. I wasn't able to go to church and go to nursery which was hard. I missed all the nursery kids. I do have an amazing husband, family, and friends though. I had so many people checking on me to see if I was alright. I had texts, phone calls, and visits. Not too many people know about the pregnancy at this point but the word is definitely spreading. Both mom's brought us in food for dinner which was awesome so we didn't need to worry about meals. My mom and sister even took Mikey for the afternoon and entertained him so he wouldn't bother me with wanting to play all the time. We are so blessed. We had so many people praying and fasting for us today. We have so many people who love and support us so much today and it was so great and overwhelming to feel that today. We are both so nervous anticipating what is to come tomorrow. I have my blood draw at 9:15am but we probably won't hear results until late afternoon. We really are hoping for the best, but the worst is also lingering in the back of our minds. We have faith that Heavenly Father will make the outcome how it needs to be. We will get through whatever tomorrow brings us.
Monday July 28, 2014
Today was such a long hard day. I went in at 9am to get the blood draw done. I then didn't get the results until almost 5pm. It was a long day of waiting. Come to find out the results took so long coming back because they had to be reviewed by the doctor. The results came back the exact same as the first one. The EXACT SAME! How frustrating! Dr. Foulk said he wants me to go back on Wednesday for another blood draw to double check everything and see if they can find a reason for these results. They still want me to do blood draws every other day though because they said they aren't giving up on the baby yet. Dr. Foulk said he has seen this happen many times, and miracles happen and the pregnancy turns out to be normal. They also want to monitor it to make sure it's not ectopic.
This news has been absolutely devastating to us. We have been through so much. We thought this might be our time to get our miracle and our baby, but we still just don't know. My numbers should have doubled so it is very heartbreaking. The doctor said he has seen so many miracles happen though, so you never know. I was happy that the bad news came at the end of my work day though. I only had to hold back the tears for about a half hour. I came home and I was able to just get all my frustrations, sadness, and anger out. Do I understand why this is happening again? No. Is it fair? No. After I was able to get everything out and just be sad and angry for a while I was able to collect myself and just remind myself that it will happen someday, even if this time is not the time.. IT WILL! So many people who go through this don't know if they will ever have a child of their own, but we KNOW. We don't know when or how it will happen but it will. Even though right now it feels like it will never happen and that every time it will just end in heartbreak, it will happen. Heavenly Father knows what He is doing and He has a very good reason to make us go through this. We now just have to wait this out and see how it will all end. Everything will be determined by my next blood draw.
No comments:
Post a Comment