Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Writings from the Past

I don't normally share this type of writing that I do, but I was looking through some of my stuff tonight and I decided I would share. This week is national infertility awareness week and so I thought it would be fitting to do something a little different. In a small way this shows the emotions of infertility and miscarriage.

I Will Never Forget You

It has not been that long
Since that horrible, nightmare day
When I was told you would not come along
It broke every sun shining ray

I would never get to see your happy face
My arms would never get to hold you
Baby pinks or blues will not fill the space
But I will never forget you

I hear the cries of other little ones around
As my heart shatters and breaks
A missing piece I want to be found
But my world just shudders and shakes

So many plans had already been made
However, they would not come through
The pain and heartbreak doesn’t seem to fade
And I will never forget you

The days drag by so slow
Just wishing you were still with me
Wishing I could have watched you grow
Becoming all you could be

Tiny little feet and hands won’t enter our home
But blessings you have brought are not few
In my heart, just for you, is a special dome
Because I will never forget you

Forgotten Number

The time had come
The excitement I could not bear
A number I had drawn behind some
But couldn’t wait for my child to be in my care.

I quickly claimed my place in line
One by one each number was called
Trying to patiently wait for mine
At my leg my fingers fiercely clawed.

Frustration and ache started to build
I thought my number was finally there,
But it was by mistake, more emotions to shield
About me, did anyone care?

Trying to hold on and keep my strength
Emotions surfacing but holding my tears
Time passing at greater length
Would I be confronting my worst fears?

Numbers called that had come later
Hope slipping further and further away
To every problem trying to cater
Watching others get my sunny ray.

Working hard, pushing forward
Never did I slumber
Wondering how I got this card
For I am the forgotten number.

Trusting In His Time

Waiting on dreams to come

Working hard to make them come true

Your path getting there, harder than some

Others not knowing what from you is due

Hoping that one day the pain won't be so bad

As the path seems to have no reason or rhyme

At this trial being frustrated and mad

Couldn't it come in less time?

Watching as others receive your dream

Wishing and hoping one day you can have it too

Heartbreak only making you want to scream

Can this nightmare really be true?

Doing everything you possibly can

Hoping that something will possibly work

More and more seeming to hit the fan

What more around the corner will lurk?

So much time, but timing still not right

Keeping faith and continuing to climb

Not knowing when the end will be in sight

But trusting in His time

He has a plan that won't deceive

Giving you peace and comfort in the drop of a dime

So many blessings, yours to receive

Just keep trusting in His time