Sunday, January 26, 2014

Etsy Shop

Wow, its been a while since I posted! I have been quite busy the past few weeks. My focus has been getting my shop launched. I have launched the quiet book product line and I just launched the handbag product line. I am so excited this is all finally coming together. I am excited about this opportunity to maybe get a little extra income to save faster for treatments. For those who haven't seen the shop click HERE.

I have had so much fun creating the items that I have posted. Not only that but it has made me fill a void in a way. I have been worried that while saving I would feel like we weren't moving forward as much as when we were actually in treatment process, but I have felt like I am working more towards our goal.

I have been asked what will happen with the business when we do eventually get our miracle and the answer to that is we will figure that out when it comes to it. We have had some thoughts on it and that we would probably donate all profits to other couples who are struggling with infertility. However, we will cross that bridge when it come. It will definitely continue though because its been so fun. I am excited for what is to come.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Every Storm Runs Out Of Rain

Lately I have been thinking a lot about timing.  Everything has a time it's supposed to happen. If it's not supposed to happen it won't. So many of my blessings have talked a lot about timing and in many different ways. 

Coming to this present time when we aren't currently doing treatments but working toward them has brought an even greater perspective of timing into my life. At first when we sat down and figured out the next step I had a feeling of wanting to rush everything along.  I wanted to find a way to get finances here and now and get everything else prepared for the next step.  I soon realized that was not necessarily the way to go.  There is no rushing God and His timing. Everything will happen when it's supposed to.

We knew we needed to turn to God and see what His will and timing was for our next treatments.  We had ideas of ways to make it come faster but we quickly learned some of those ways were not the path to follow,  however for others doors opened and we have been led down different paths. If God wanted it all to happen now,  or sooner,  he would make it all happen and lead us down those paths. We have found the paths we need to take and everything will fit together when it is supposed to.

I have not only been thinking of timing for this one specific example but also in a more broad perspective. Sometimes we know more about timing in a specific situation we are in than others.  Sometimes we know when a trial will end and sometimes we don't.  Infertility is one of those trials that will have an end but we just don't know when exactly.  We have been told in blessings that it's with Heavenly Fathers wisdom that He isn't giving us the timing.  It's part of the trial.  At least we know, and can remind ourselves that it does have an end.

One of the songs I love to listen to when I am having a rough time is "Every Storm Runs Out Of Rain". It's a reminder that all the pain and heartache has an end, we just need to wait for the right timing. If God gave us everything right away and didn't have trials that lasted very long we would not have as much time to figure things out and learn what we need to. Many times we focus on timing of smaller specific trials or situations but we don't remember it all fits into a much greater eternal scheme.  Heavenly Father loves us and wants to give us all He can but in His greater wisdom doesn't, so we can learn and progress and have eternal salvation.

We have found so much hope in knowing that everything is working out in Heavenly Fathers timing.  He knows specifically what we need.  In those moments when we get impatient and want to speed it along we have been trying to take a step back and look for more lessons that can be learned and enjoy the journey as we go. We know this storm will run out of rain because there is an end to every trial. It's not always easy, but His timing is always the best.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Never Alone

Today has really made me think a lot about a few things. They may be random but we will see how this post goes.

Today, Taylor had to work his last Sunday shift. He finally won't have to work Sundays. However, he had to work 8:30am to 12:30pm and our church schedule changed from 9am to noon, so I had to go to church alone. I haven't went to church alone since college and it was such a strange feeling for me. I sat alone in sacrament meeting but I had so many people ask me if Taylor was ok and how things were going for us. It made me realize how amazingly blessed we are to have such an amazing ward. We absolutely love our ward so much. Everyone is so thoughtful and caring and everyone helps each other all the time in any way they can. We couldn't ask for a better ward!

As I was sitting there during sacrament meeting I got to thinking how lonely it felt in a way not to have Taylor there. It made me think about how we never really are alone. Heavenly Father is always with us and He is always so mindful of our needs. He is there through every trial. Even when things are really hard and are at their lowest low, He is there to comfort us and help us through. We are never alone!

Today has made me so grateful for Taylor, who is always by my side and is always so amazing. I am so blessed that he is mine. He helps me through so much. I am also so grateful for our amazing ward and friends who are always helping in any way they can. We have had so many health issues since moving in and they have always been there to help us with anything we have ever needed. We have made such amazing friends. They were there through Taylor's surgery and they have been there as we have went through treatments. They have been there through all my sickness and we have felt their prayers as they have prayed for our situation and that things would work out for us. They have all been such a huge blessing and great support for us and they keep us going in so many ways! This is just another way we have been blessed from Taylor's surgery and infertility. We probably wouldn't know a lot of these people as well as we do without it.

I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have that I am never alone. I never have to be alone at any time or in any situation. Heavenly Father is always there for us and will never leave us. He has strengthened us so much through the trials we have been put through and blessed us because of them as well. Infertility is not easy but he has brought so many people into our lives to help us through it and give us strength through it all. It has helped us to enjoy the whole journey more. I am so grateful I never have to be alone!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

A New Year

The coming of a new year is always hard for us but also quite exciting. Taylor and I were laughing as were talking on new years eve. We were talking about how we always say this year may be our year to get our miracle. Yet the past two new years that has been said. This year we decided we weren't going to say that. It seems to be that way for a lot of things. Every time I start a new journal I write about how maybe by the time I finish this journal I may finally be getting our baby.

This year we are taking the approach of taking things as they come. We aren't going to stop trying of course. We are saving up for the next set of treatments and they will come when the timing is right. Yes, it was frustrating to realize 2013 was over and we still didn't have that empty place in our hearts filled. However, we have taken so many steps forward this year. We started out 2013 not knowing what was going on. I had surgery, we had tests after tests, we got some answers, had 3 IUIs and the first one resulted in another angel, re-evaluated, got more answers, and made a new plan. That is a lot of steps in one year.

Instead of being sad for what we don't have we look at the things that we did have and all the good times. We are so blessed we were even able to afford all that we were able to, to keep moving forward with starting our family. Many times we didn't know if it would happen, but it did, and it all worked out.

We are still hopeful for 2014. Even if we don't get our miracle we will be taking steps forward. We will constantly be taking steps forward until our miracle finally comes. We are not giving up and we never will. We will keep going until it happens. We will work through 2014 day by day and beyond if needed. We have so much hope through our Heavenly Father and He is giving us strength every day to make it through.