Monday, July 29, 2013
I saw this book, looked at it, and an employee walked by and told me that it was a great book. I decided to get it. A few minutes later I talked myself out of getting it and decided to save the money. However, I ended up going back, looking at it again, and another employee told me that it had completely changed her life. I picked it up again and bought it.
The book is divided into 365 sections, one for each day of the year. Its meant to be read slowly over the course of a year. There are quotes from many different influential people in the church on the topic of prayer. I am not even half way through the book yet and it has completely changed my way of thinking about prayer and changed my life when it comes to prayer. Its fun to read a quote then think about it all day and really study the meaning of it and apply it.
Prayer has become a huge tool for me over the course of our infertility journey. All growing up I constantly heard about prayer and would say my prayers but they didn't always have a lot of meaning or thought put into them. Prayer has become a center point of my life. I constantly am praying to Heavenly Father for the peace and strength that I need to get through each day. Through prayer and a few other things I have strengthened my relationship with my Heavenly Father so much. I am so grateful for the stronger relationship that I now have with my Heavenly Father. Its one reason why I can be grateful for this trial.
Prayer has brought me so much peace that everything will be okay through the past two years. There are many times that I have suddenly become really discourage, anxious, frustrated, or depressed but I always know I can turn to Heavenly Father through prayer and he will give me the peace that I am searching for. For example, today I got a call at work and I couldn't answer it. A little while later I listened to the message that was left and it was the doctor office saying that our appointment for Thursday would need to be switched. They had an emergency surgery situation come up that needs to take place on Thursday during our appointment time. The said they would have to get us in another time. I called the office but it just went to voicemail. I started to worry and panic. I was almost in tears. We had to schedule over a month ahead for this appointment to get a time that would work for both mine and Taylor's schedules. All I could think about is how I wouldn't be able to wait another month for this appointment. I kept saying a prayers in my head through the next while at work that everything would work out for the best and I would have the peace and strength to get through whatever timeframe we would have to wait.
A while later the office called back again and I was able to answer. Once again they explained that they were sorry for the inconvenience but they needed to take care of this surgery situation for another patient. I was understanding about it. If I were that patient I would hope others would be understanding and I tried to look at it from that perspective. I remember hoping that whoever the patient was that the surgery would go well and that couple would get their dreams of a child. As the conversation continued I explained that both Taylor and I have hard schedules to work around right now. They felt bad about having to change it and they said they wanted to help us out too. They said they would work us in at 4:15 on Thursday instead of 3:00. We were so grateful that they ended up working us in that day so that we would not have to wait a long time for the appointment. Our appointment is supposed to take over an hour so we are grateful for the staff that will be staying after closing time for us. I am grateful for the peace that I had today and grateful that everything worked out for everyone with the scheduling. Its all in Heavenly Father's hands and I am so happy I have had this opportunity to develop my relationship with my Heavenly Father even more!
*To learn more about what we believe click HERE.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
As for the question about donating to someone to help pay for fertility treatment or adoption, yes I would donate and I have donated before. (I only donate though if I know the people or know it's not a scam.) Going through similar situations and seeing how hard and heartbreaking it is to deal with, I would never want anyone to have to go through the same thing. It is hard enough going through all of the emotional and physical pain but it is even harder when financial strain comes on top of it all.
Most people can get pregnant without paying anything to make it happen. However, imagine that you tried for over a year and it never happened. You go to the doctor and have multiple tests done and possibly even surgery, but you still don't get pregnant. You are then told you will need to pay at least $15k-$20k for one cycle of treatment. Even then a lot of times it does not work the first time. So upon dealing with the heartache of this news you now also have a huge financial burden placed upon you to get one thing that you long for more than anything else. This same thing you want to happen, most people can make happen without paying anything.
One of the first comments I read was if people can't afford treatment on their own then they shouldn't be having a child because they can't pay for the child once it comes anyway. In my experience and opinion this many times a is false accusation. For parents who conceive naturally they have the prenatal costs then the costs of raising the child after its born. For parents who need treatments they have those same costs but also need to pay the thousands upon thousands of dollars in treatments. Many couples who try to do fundraisers and get donations are actually being extremely financially responsible. They are trying to get the money raised up front so they don't have loans from treatments to pay for after their child is born. Many couples frugally save every penny they have in hopes of getting a child even though it may take years to save that much money to pay for treatments. Donations would help them get to where they want to be faster. Not considering the treatments, most couples can still afford to raise the child, its just getting the child here (the treatments) that they can't afford because it's so much, especially if they need more than one cycle.
Infertility is a disease. Nobody wishes to have infertility. Just like cancer or heart disease you may become one of the unlucky ones to have it. You don't get to pick what diseases you have and it's no exception when it comes to infertility. Just like many cancer patients wonder why their body is letting them down and not functioning the way bodies should normally function, infertility patients wonder too. Many infertility patients have done nothing wrong but have still got the disease, just like many cancer patients have done nothing wrong to bring on cancer. It can strike anybody at anytime.
Many people that commented said that they would never donate because it's like donating for a facelift, a car, or a house. I personally don't agree with these comparisons. Would you donate to someone with a disease that is preventing their body from working properly? Would you help donate to a cancer patient, heart disease patient, etc?
I noticed that a lot of the comments that were made came down to experience, education, and awareness. The people who were going through infertility or have been through treatments in the past were very supportive of donating, while those who hadn't been through it and didn't know much about it were against donating. Of course, the way you come to know most about infertility is going through it first hand. You quickly become very educated on the topic. If you haven't been through it and don't know anyone who has then you usually aren't as aware of the disease. There are now some great organizations out there that are raising awareness of the disease and are helping to educate people. What used to be a topic that was never talked about, is slowly becoming more open and more people are becoming aware. People who are going through it have more support than ever before. Chances are, even if you think you don't know someone going through infertility, you actually do but they just don't talk about it openly.
There were a few people that had good reasons why they would not donate, such as if they didn't know the person, so they didn't know if it was a scam or not. Of course I would agree with this. Nobody wants to be a victim of a scam. The other reason I agreed with, is if the couple asking for donations is out buying the latest and greatest cars, technology, toys, etc. In order to donate I would definitely make sure the couple was using the funds well and also doing everything they could on their part to save as well.
Unfortunately in our society it has become one of entitlement. Many feel they are entitled to things without working for it and putting effort into it. This is not the case with everyone but it happens. Couples asking for donations should still be aware that they are not entitled to donations. It's a blessing that someone is offering to them.
Everyone has their own personal choice as to donate or not. It's a choice that each person can choose on their own and everyone has their own and differing opinions. It was good to see all the different opinions on the post but at the same time it was saddening to see the people that disagreed being quite rude about their disagreement. Even if one disagrees and does not want to donate, it can be said in a respectful manner, keeping in mind infertility is a hard disease to cope with on a daily basis. Rude comments can make the situation even harder on couples facing infertility.
The post and question that was asked was about asking for donations. I do support donations but I am even more supportive of fundraiser style donations. I am willing to give even more when a couple is working hard to sell something for a fundraiser. It's not because I get something in return, but rather because they are very clearly working hard to get the funding for treatments or adoption fees. I am willing to give more in those situations. Nobody wants to give money when they don't know it's going to be used wisely.
All in all I think it's a great idea and opportunity for people to donate when they can. I can't think of anything more joyful than knowing you helped a couple become parents after such a struggle. People who don't know much about infertility should become educated before they make their decision of whether or not to donate.
In the end it comes down to people helping people. Everyone has their own trials and struggles that they have to deal with. You can help people with their trials they are going through, then when you have something you need help with they could be there for you. This not only applies to the world of infertility but all trials that people around you could be going through. Nothing could bring greater joy than people helping people, becoming more Christlike, and helping others through a very hard journey. You never know when that hard journey will become your own.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
The next 5k they have is in Orem next Saturday August 3rd. Taylor and I have been running for the past little while to get ready for it and we are going to be participating in our first 5k! They announced they will also have a raffle for a free IVF cycle or 50% off cycles. We aren't counting on winning anything. We are just so excited to help other couples going through infertility and get to know others who are struggling with the same thing. Neither of us have ever done a 5k or even been interested in running but we have really enjoyed it as we have been going out preparing for this 5k.
My best friend is also going with us on the 5k and has been running with us. Its great to have the support. A lot of family won't be able to attend with us and put in for the raffle because there is a wedding in the extended family that day as well.
We are really excited for the race and can't wait for it to come next week!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
When I went to my doctor appointment the end of April it was decided that surgery would be the best option at that point for me. I was really nervous about it but I was also excited because it was taking another step forward to try to figure out why we still have not been able to get pregnant. Surgery was scheduled for May 16th. I had a pre-op appointment to go over everything and sign papers and get all my instructions.
Starting 3 days before surgery I was put on a low fiber diet. I couldn't eat any fresh fruits or vegetables. The day before surgery I could only have clear liquids. I was so hungry all day, and on top of it I had to drink magnesium citrate to do a cleansing. I was literally up all night in the bathroom.
The day of surgery I went and checked in at the hospital. Everything went really fast. I didn't have much waiting around. They placed the IV, then talked to the anesthesiologist and the doctor then I was wheeled to the OR. I don't remember much after that.
When I woke up they gave me water bits at a time so I hopefully wouldn't get very sick. I felt fine and the pain wasn't bad until I got up to go home. As soon as I stood up to get dressed and was sitting in the wheelchair I started to have really bad shoulder pain. That was because when they do the surgery they fill your abdomen up with gas and they can't get it all out so it all rises to your shoulders. It was really bad pain and it made the drive home horrible. When I was able to lay down and keep moving side to side it would go away a little bit. The shoulder pain lasted about three days.
My surgery results came back that everything was perfect as far as the doctor could see. It was frustrating because we were almost hoping something would be found wrong so we could fix it. However, we still don't have a reason why we haven't been able to get pregnant. Its good to have a clean bill of health but we still really want answers. Even though the surgery didn't give us a reason to our problems, I am still happy I did the surgery because it eliminated a lot of things that we now know are not our issue.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
I am getting pretty anxious for this appointment to get here but at the same time I am nervous about it. Hopefully we will move more towards getting some answers though. Sometimes I think unexplained infertility is harder than if we just knew what was wrong. So many times I just want to get answers to why this is happening. But at the same time I don't know if I am ready to know what is going on. It will all work out the way its supposed to though. Hopefully these next three weeks go by fast.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Sunday, July 7, 2013
- · Not having as much support from family and friends
- · Dealing with issues at your own pace without pressure from others
- · Avoid unwanted opinions
- · Have support from family and friends and others who are going through the same thing
- · Feel like you don’t have a secret you are trying to keep from everyone
- · Helping others who may be looking for information
Even though both some good and bad have come from being open I still know it was the right thing to do for us. I have to remind myself of that when those cons come along. There are both pros and cons with each of the decisions on this topic, it's just a matter of which cons you want to deal with and which pros will give you the most benefit for your situation. Each couple has to make the decision that is right for them. There is no right or wrong decision.