Christmas #5

This Christmas was our 5th Christmas hoping and praying for a baby to come. We knew it would be hard, as Christmas always is, but it was still a great Christmas. It was great to celebrate all of the hope that the Savior brings to all of us.

We kept things really low key this year. For gifts there wasn't much that either of us wanted. At least not things that could come wrapped up under a tree. We are both getting so anxious for our little one to come. We decided just to give each other a few very small gifts and put everything else we would have spent into the baby account in addition to what we normally do. It was the best gift we could have given each other. It was a gift of hope to each other. Maybe next year we will have a little one on the way. Even if not, we will still be closer to it.

We spent most of Christmas day with family and friends. It was a little difficult at times when my heart hurt because this was our 5th Christmas without a little one. With both sides of our family growing and more littles ones each year it was a bit difficult. We loved every minute with our family and friends though. All the littles ones were so cute! Our family has the cutest babies!

It was fun to see family and friends be excited for our baby to hopefully come soon as well! It is amazing to see how many people are anxiously awaiting baby Morgan. Someone gave us a Christmas gift, though small, made a huge impact on us. They brought a gift bag and it had a baby bottle in it that was full of M&Ms. I was so confused at first. Why would someone give us a baby bottle as part of the gift? I turned the bottle over and it had a sticker on it. This is what it looked like:

I was still confused after the note, but I decided if we got candy we might as well eat some. I opened up the lid and inside was a plastic bag with a roll of money. The gift really touched us. The person later apologized that it wasn't much. It may not have seemed much to them, but it was so much to us. Every $1 counts and is such a blessing. Each $1 gets us a bit closer to our goal. What could be better than the gift of hope? Hope that soon we will be parents.

We are so excited that 2016 is approaching! It brings so many different emotions it is hard to explain. First and foremost we are so excited. 2016 is going to bring a lot of big things. It also brings some anxiousness, nervousness, worry, etc but it will all work out the way Heavenly Father sees fit. It will all happen the way it is supposed to. We know His promises will be fulfilled in His time. 2016 is going to be a big year, and we can't wait for it to get here!

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

Since the Holiday season is upon us, we wanted to take a minute to write to you. As you well know, this is our 5th Christmas hoping and wishing for the same gift. The gift that we are asking for is not one that you will bring to put under our tree on Christmas Eve. We have been waiting, praying, and hoping for a little baby to be in our arms. The wait has not been an easy one and we will surely have hard times moving forward in this journey. We have tried to wait as patiently as possible as many of our family and friends have had children. We are always so excited for them to grow their families, however, we are wanting to receive this same gift. We know you can't bring us a baby for Christmas; they are a gift that has to come from Heavenly Father in the right time. However, as we are just months away from starting the IVF process there are a few other things we would ask for:

1. We have worked really hard to save the funds to make it possible to do IVF. As we are on the final stretch of saving we ask for the gift of perseverance to make it to the amount we need. We have had setbacks come up in the past and if some more come up we need to be able to make it through as we have in the past, and be able to make it so we can have this opportunity to have a child.

2. As the time has drawn closer to start the procedure the anxiety has been building. So many thoughts of "What if..." keep coming to mind and the thought that the procedure may not work the first time is hard to bear after so much work and waiting has been put into trying just one time. That being said, we ask for the gift of peace, to know that no matter what happens it will be what is meant to be. May we have the peace to know that if things don't go as planned that everything will be alright, it won't be the end of our journey, and something will work out in the right time.

3. The final thing we will ask for is for the gift of continued hope and faith. Even though it will be another Christmas without the gift we have been longing for the most, we would like the gift of hope and faith to remember that we have so many amazing things that will be happening in the future. Heavenly Father has made us a promise and He always keeps His promises. We will have a baby when the time is right.

We hope you have a Merry Christmas,

Amberly and Taylor