Growing Closer

Infertility is a hard trial to go through and it causes a lot of stresses. Lately I have heard a few stories where infertility has caused some couples to grow farther apart, rather than closer together. I thought a lot about Taylor and I  and how far we have come in our two years of marriage. A lot has been thrown our way in those two years. However, through it all, we have grown so much closer together.

I think there are quite a few reasons for this outcome of growing closer together, rather than farther apart. Infertility very quickly becomes extremely stressful. Soon after diagnosis, there is  a lot of medications, treatments, budgets for treatments, and worrying that occurs. It's a lot of pressure for couples and if they aren't able to take time away from the infertility issue, I can see how it can cause problems.

Yes, we have to deal with infertility, but infertility has not become our identity. It's a huge part of our life but its not who we are. It has helped us become who we are today and it has made us stronger, but it does not define who we are. There are so many other things that make up who we are. Infertility in the big perspective is only a small part of who we are. There have been a few times we have forgotten this but when those times come we just have to remember to take a step back and take a break from the trial.

First, we try to take time out of our schedules regularly to do things that we enjoy doing together and have some fun. Like recently we trained and ran our first 5k, we play board games, do projects, garden, go on walks, etc. Its those small moments of taking time for ourselves that has helped us grow closer together.

Second, hard, painful, and heartbreaking times come quite often when going through such a roller coaster journey. Its painful for both of us. Many people think its only painful for the wife since she is the one that would be bearing the child but its equally painful for the husband. He endures everything right along with me. We both have our struggles with the whole thing. We both have good days and bad days, we both have our frustrations, but we both have each other to lean on. Since we have grown closer together we know we can always depend on each other. On those days when I can't hold myself together and just need to cry, Taylor is always there to hold me and tell me it will all work out and be alright. I always know I can count on him for anything. Even as I have been adjusting to new medication he has been doing everything he can to help lighten my load and I will be forever grateful for that. There have also been times when he needs to rely on me and count on me and I will always be there for him. When he had doubts he would ever be able to learn to walk again after brain tumor surgery he had to lean on me and we were able to work through it all together. We are best friends and we would never want to push each other away through the hard times. We are each other's rock and support.

Third, we know that Heavenly Father is in control and has a plan for us. When things seem overwhelming and stressful, we know He will help us through it all. Not only have we built a stronger relationship together but we have both built a stronger relationship with our Heavenly Father. We do stress a little bit over things but we know its not worth it to stress too much. Things will work out in Heavenly Father's timing and that is always the best timing!

I am so grateful that I have had this opportunity to grow so much closer to my eternal companion and best friend as well as my Heavenly Father. Infertility is so hard to go through but I am so grateful for the blessings that have come through it, that wouldn't have happened otherwise.