Drugs, More Drugs, and Emotions

Infertility is one of those things that people never quite understand until they actually go through it. They can try to put themselves in the others shoes and get a good idea of what its like, but you never get the complete picture until you go through it. The same thing is true for IUI. I never imagined the cycle to be like this!

On Tuesday I had my baseline ultrasound and blood work done. Everything looked great with the ultrasound so they had my blood drawn and sent me on my way with the next set of instructions, which consisted of getting a prescription from the pharmacy and ordering two medicines through the mail, since pharmacies don't offer them locally. I filled my local prescription and started taking it the same day. Today I received a package in mail with the other prescriptions. One of which is an injection. Shots don't bother me at all, but when you tell me I have to give it to myself that is when I panic! (I just figured that out today.) We got all the prescriptions situated and got the ones that needed to go in the fridge, into the fridge, and the ones that needed to stay out, out on the counter, all ready to go for when the doctor says to start using them.

My day was going pretty well up to this point, besides the panic attack from having to give myself a shot in the coming weeks. However, I got off work and noticed I had just missed a call. I listened to the voicemail that was left and it was my doctor's office saying they got blood work back and Dr. Foulk reviewed it and wants me to start taking yet another prescription starting tomorrow! They didn't give much information and I started to panic again wondering if this new medication was going to help the cycle, or stop it and we would have to wait to try for the IUI. I tried calling the office back but they had just barely closed so I called the after hours line and luckily someone answered. She looked at my records and said I would need to start the prescription tomorrow but as far as she could see we would still be going forward with the cycle. We will find out more tomorrow about this situation and this new prescription.

After all of this confusion, worry, and stress, that happened in just a few minutes time, I started to cry. I walked in the door after work crying. I never get this emotional over stuff. The hormones and drugs are definitely doing something. Taylor saw me when I walked in and was worried. He calmed me down after I talked to him about the situation. My worst fear is the cycle being cancelled and postponed. I don't want to be doing all of this for nothing. The emotions, the nausea, the constant timing of drugs, etc has really been hard to cope with. I am so lucky to have Taylor though! He really has been such a huge help. He puts things into perspective when emotions get out of whack and he is very patient with all of this.

I feel like my life will revolve around drugs for the next few weeks. The timing is so hard to get used to. I have to take one pill an hour before I eat, another when I eat, another at least two hours after the first pill, another pill with dinner and two more at the exact same time every evening. Taylor even joked with me and said he would get me one of the pill boxes that old people on the TV use. I may have actually considered it but it only divides out by days, not by times.

So now we wait until tomorrow when I get to talk to the nurses at my doctors office. They are quickly becoming just like best friends. I have talked to them at least once per day this week. I am so grateful that they are all such great, friendly people. Having such a great doctor, with great staff makes a huge difference. I can't imagine going through this with an office that didn't have such nice, caring people.