Sunday, August 18, 2013

Submitting and Taking Action

A few months ago we got into a deep conversation with my aunt, who is also a great friend of mine. She came over to watch some fireworks with us in our backyard and we ended up talking for a while afterward. She said that she and a friend had been talking about the word "submit" and asked us our opinions on it. It has had me thinking a lot ever since then. There is a lot that goes into submitting to something, in our case submitting to our Heavenly Father's will. It takes a lot of work to be able to say that you have been able to fully submit to Heavenly Father's will and plan for you. I still can't say I have been able to fully submit to Heavenly Father's plan for our infertility journey.

A few days later I looked up the definition of submit in the dictionary and it got me thinking even more. Some of the definitions are: to yield or surrender to will or authority of another, to subject to a condition or a process, to commit to the consideration or judgment of another. I do know that I can't change the situation that I am in. We have been given infertility as one our trials and we can't change that. However, we can change our thinking about it and our reactions to it.

For the first little while after the diagnosis came I started researching everything I could do to change our situation. I came across some crazy theories for how you can reverse infertility. I soon came to the conclusion that we can't change or get around the situation, we need to go through it and figure out how to get through it. I fought against Heavenly Father's plan for a while, not wanting to go through this trial that we were given. As much as I wanted it to, infertility did not just go away.

Submitting became my only option. It is not something that is easy to come to terms with though. It something that has to constantly be worked at. One day you can feel like you have submitted to Heavenly Father's will, and the next you just want to change everything again. Heavenly Father really is in control and his plan is the best. I know that and I always will, but sometimes you still just want to be able to change things.

Submitting can bring a lot of peace especially during a hard trial, no matter what that trial is. Its comforting to know that I higher power is in control and knows much better what needs to happen, even though a different route seems better to you at the time. Its a great spiritual moment at that point when you can humble yourself and give the control over completely to Heavenly Father and submit to his will.

Even though Heavenly Father is in control of our infertility journey, we have not stopped moving forward. Even after submitting to the trial, you can't just sit back and say things will happen as they are supposed to. Action still needs to be taken. You still need to do your best to do all you can to move in the direction you feel is appropriate. Of course, the way you figure out the correct direction is through prayer and revelation. Heavenly Father won't just make things happen if you aren't doing the things you need to, to make it happen.

Many people with infertility have to figure out what treatments they need to pursue, what actions they need to take, and in what timeframes they need to deal with things. Submitting does not mean stopping the actions, its continuing forward in the direction Heavenly Father has counseled, knowing that His plan is the best and it will work out the way its supposed to.

We are definitely not perfect at submitting to Heavenly Father's will for this trial but we are trying our best. We are moving forward the best that we can, putting our faith, trust, and hope in the Lord. It is scary to move forward with IUI but we know its what we need to do. We excited to see what Heavenly Father has in store for us, no matter what it may be.


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