As for the question about donating to someone to help pay for fertility treatment or adoption, yes I would donate and I have donated before. (I only donate though if I know the people or know it's not a scam.) Going through similar situations and seeing how hard and heartbreaking it is to deal with, I would never want anyone to have to go through the same thing. It is hard enough going through all of the emotional and physical pain but it is even harder when financial strain comes on top of it all.
Most people can get pregnant without paying anything to make it happen. However, imagine that you tried for over a year and it never happened. You go to the doctor and have multiple tests done and possibly even surgery, but you still don't get pregnant. You are then told you will need to pay at least $15k-$20k for one cycle of treatment. Even then a lot of times it does not work the first time. So upon dealing with the heartache of this news you now also have a huge financial burden placed upon you to get one thing that you long for more than anything else. This same thing you want to happen, most people can make happen without paying anything.
One of the first comments I read was if people can't afford treatment on their own then they shouldn't be having a child because they can't pay for the child once it comes anyway. In my experience and opinion this many times a is false accusation. For parents who conceive naturally they have the prenatal costs then the costs of raising the child after its born. For parents who need treatments they have those same costs but also need to pay the thousands upon thousands of dollars in treatments. Many couples who try to do fundraisers and get donations are actually being extremely financially responsible. They are trying to get the money raised up front so they don't have loans from treatments to pay for after their child is born. Many couples frugally save every penny they have in hopes of getting a child even though it may take years to save that much money to pay for treatments. Donations would help them get to where they want to be faster. Not considering the treatments, most couples can still afford to raise the child, its just getting the child here (the treatments) that they can't afford because it's so much, especially if they need more than one cycle.
Infertility is a disease. Nobody wishes to have infertility. Just like cancer or heart disease you may become one of the unlucky ones to have it. You don't get to pick what diseases you have and it's no exception when it comes to infertility. Just like many cancer patients wonder why their body is letting them down and not functioning the way bodies should normally function, infertility patients wonder too. Many infertility patients have done nothing wrong but have still got the disease, just like many cancer patients have done nothing wrong to bring on cancer. It can strike anybody at anytime.
Many people that commented said that they would never donate because it's like donating for a facelift, a car, or a house. I personally don't agree with these comparisons. Would you donate to someone with a disease that is preventing their body from working properly? Would you help donate to a cancer patient, heart disease patient, etc?
I noticed that a lot of the comments that were made came down to experience, education, and awareness. The people who were going through infertility or have been through treatments in the past were very supportive of donating, while those who hadn't been through it and didn't know much about it were against donating. Of course, the way you come to know most about infertility is going through it first hand. You quickly become very educated on the topic. If you haven't been through it and don't know anyone who has then you usually aren't as aware of the disease. There are now some great organizations out there that are raising awareness of the disease and are helping to educate people. What used to be a topic that was never talked about, is slowly becoming more open and more people are becoming aware. People who are going through it have more support than ever before. Chances are, even if you think you don't know someone going through infertility, you actually do but they just don't talk about it openly.
There were a few people that had good reasons why they would not donate, such as if they didn't know the person, so they didn't know if it was a scam or not. Of course I would agree with this. Nobody wants to be a victim of a scam. The other reason I agreed with, is if the couple asking for donations is out buying the latest and greatest cars, technology, toys, etc. In order to donate I would definitely make sure the couple was using the funds well and also doing everything they could on their part to save as well.
Unfortunately in our society it has become one of entitlement. Many feel they are entitled to things without working for it and putting effort into it. This is not the case with everyone but it happens. Couples asking for donations should still be aware that they are not entitled to donations. It's a blessing that someone is offering to them.
Everyone has their own personal choice as to donate or not. It's a choice that each person can choose on their own and everyone has their own and differing opinions. It was good to see all the different opinions on the post but at the same time it was saddening to see the people that disagreed being quite rude about their disagreement. Even if one disagrees and does not want to donate, it can be said in a respectful manner, keeping in mind infertility is a hard disease to cope with on a daily basis. Rude comments can make the situation even harder on couples facing infertility.
The post and question that was asked was about asking for donations. I do support donations but I am even more supportive of fundraiser style donations. I am willing to give even more when a couple is working hard to sell something for a fundraiser. It's not because I get something in return, but rather because they are very clearly working hard to get the funding for treatments or adoption fees. I am willing to give more in those situations. Nobody wants to give money when they don't know it's going to be used wisely.
All in all I think it's a great idea and opportunity for people to donate when they can. I can't think of anything more joyful than knowing you helped a couple become parents after such a struggle. People who don't know much about infertility should become educated before they make their decision of whether or not to donate.
In the end it comes down to people helping people. Everyone has their own trials and struggles that they have to deal with. You can help people with their trials they are going through, then when you have something you need help with they could be there for you. This not only applies to the world of infertility but all trials that people around you could be going through. Nothing could bring greater joy than people helping people, becoming more Christlike, and helping others through a very hard journey. You never know when that hard journey will become your own.
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