IUI #1 Results

Well the results are in. They have actually been partially in since Friday. Friday's results were very unexpected. I went to the office thinking I would have my blood drawn and get a clear positive or a negative. I got the call that day and the nurse said, "Well I have good news and bad news"... not what we wanted to hear. We just wanted the good news part. She said my levels were at 10.3 and that meant that I was pregnant but that number was low for where I was at. She said she had seen people with numbers that low go on to have a normal pregnancy but others have miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy. We definitely did not get our clear cut answer, but instead more waiting.

Today I went back for a follow up blood draw and the news was not good. We will be miscarrying our 4th angel. Its a tough pill to swallow when you have lost so many and just want so badly for the news to finally be good. I got the news in the middle of work so I had to hold everything in for the rest of my shift which was really hard. When I finally got home and walked in the door I saw this in front of me:

And Taylor was waiting for me because he knew I would need a shoulder to cry on.

We were hoping and praying for a miracle to happen and that this baby would make it, but it didn't. This time was just not the time for it to happen. It was sad tonight going through the usual routine and not taking the supplements that I have had to take the past weeks. It meant that there would be no baby. The pills that I wished I didn't have so many of, I found myself wishing I was still taking. I am now down to 2 prescriptions (the two I found out recently I will probably have to take the rest of my life).

I asked the nurse at the office if there was any other tests that they could run to see if anything else was wrong. She said they had ran every possible test out there and I have the prescriptions to fix the things they found, like PCOS and hypothyroidism. They will be testing the thyroid again soon to make sure its at the right levels now with the meds. I was grateful for her understanding and patience with my frustrations. She went on to say that they highly recommend I immediately go on and do another cycle. This took me back a bit because it was my understanding it was fine to take breaks between cycles. After discussing the pros and cons both ways though, I do understand why they recommended that.

So where do we go from here? We just take the miscarriage one day at a time and work through it, going back to the office every other day for blood work to make sure levels are not indicating an ectopic again, and try to put ourselves back together after another really hard heartbreak, then prepare ourselves for another roller coaster cycle (whenever it may be). We don't know for sure if we will be doing another cycle right away because its extremely expensive and insurance doesn't help with the cost. We will start trying to figure out if it will be possible to continue and do another cycle right away since we do feel it would be advantageous for us, but we will have to see what we can pull budget wise. We will then move on trusting God and His timing for us. Even though this is another hard time for us, we know that His plan is the best and it will all work out the way its supposed to.

Thank you so much to all our family and friends for all your support, love, prayers, fasting, etc. We have such amazing people in our lives! Our miracle will come someday and it will definitely be at least in part because of the prayers and faith of our family and friends.