Taylor and I didn't really talk about our situation much with anyone until we were well into our infertility journey. When we started being more open about the whole situation, we were almost two years into it, and we are now almost at the 3 year mark. I have received questions about when we really knew something was wrong and about how things were in the beginning. It's no secret that our story really began the day we were married. That is when everything began. That is when we started trying for a baby.
After trying for about 5 months, in October 2011 is when we first went to a doctor. I never thought I would have to seek out a doctor's help to have a baby. However after 5 months I knew something was wrong. I just had a feeling something was not right. I went to an OBGYN and he pretty much said it was no worry until I had went a year without a pregnancy. (Infertility is defined as not being able to get pregnant after 1 year of trying to get pregnant.) This frustrated me. Yes, medically that is the standard, but my feelings told me otherwise. I just went with what he said, did a blood draw, which all came back normal, and just went on with life hoping that the next 7 months would go fast, since I had a feeling things were not going to work out.
After 3 more months we were pregnant with the twins and I wrote about that whole experience in the previous post if you did not see that. After things were settled from that pregnancy I asked the doctor if we could now do testing and move forward with finding out what was wrong. He said I had to wait another year. Major frustration! However, I just followed what he said, and a year later is when we did more testing and did my surgery to see if he could figure out if there was anything wrong.
The standard in the medical world is waiting 1 year before looking into things further. However, looking back on my experience I wish I would have been a little more pushy with getting tests done earlier rather than waiting almost 2 years. During that time we followed the doctor's instructions and did as he suggested, which did help later on though.
My first appointment with my OBGYN, I didn't know what to expect. I remember being pretty nervous for that appointment. It was my first experience with an infertility related appointment. The doctor and I pretty much just sat and talked about the most private aspects of our life. His questions were quite detailed but they have to be to figure out what is going on. It was just strange to talk about those things with someone. (One thing he had asked me to do was use an ovulation predictor kit. The kit NEVER worked for me. However, when I told the doctor about it not working he said I was still probably ovulating anyway and the test was just wrong. This confused me, but brushed it aside since he was the doctor. Why would they even have the kit if there was a good chance it didn't work? I will come back to this later.)
During this whole waiting period we knew something was wrong, we just didn't know what. We thought I may not be ovulating from symptoms I was having, but like I said above the doctor kind of just swept it to the side. Taylor and I did a lot of research. We started wanting a second opinion. We went through the surgery with the original doctor and he was so great through it all. However after surgery we decided to seek help from a different doctor. We had done a lot of research, attended some seminars, and knew where we wanted to go, and this doctor was a specialist.
We had all of my records transferred from our OBGYN to our specialist. Dr. Foulk was so great to work with from the very start. It's really important to pick a good doctor that you are comfortable with. Within minutes of meeting this person you will be divulging everything you could think of about your personal life to this person.
At our first consultation with Dr. Foulk he had reviewed our records before we went for our appointment. They had us in his office to talk with him and he came in and flat out told us that he knew what was wrong just from looking at my records. He went through all the standard questions and details though. He told us that our OBGYN had done well at doing all the right tests and the right procedures but he agreed it was time to see a specialist. Many people in Utah seek help from an OBGYN first. They are more available and people are usually more comfortable with that. OBs are usually able to get through the basics. However, Dr. Foulk explained to us that it is like a mechanic and a car salesman. The car salesman can get around the basics and knows the basics, however the specialist is like the mechanic, they can figure out the details of how to get pregnant and what is going wrong. Once someone is pregnant, the OBGYN is better at taking it from there. The specialist gets the baby in there and the OB monitors it through the pregnancy and gets it out. Dr. Foulk then talked about what he had found and asked if I had ever used predictor kits. When I told him I had but they never worked I also told him what our other doctor had said about them. Dr. Foulk laughed and said that was where the other doctor got off track. They wouldn't be still selling the kits and doctors wouldn't be having patients use them if they didn't do what they were supposed to. I definitely was not ovulating. Also at that appointment they did blood work in order to do prescriptions and did an ultrasound as well to look for abnormalities. They were definitely very thorough in all they did. Not only that, but everyone at the office treated us as if we were their only patient and answered all our questions that we had about upcoming procedures and treatments.
It's is not always easy to take that first step and seek help with starting your family or adding to your family. Medical professionals say to wait one year before getting help for most cases. However I would say to just follow your instincts. You know your body better than anyone else. I have learned to follow my feelings throughout our entire infertility journey and that has never let me down.
Early on we had both decided we wanted to be as educated as possible going into this whole journey whether it lasted only months up to years. We started reading stories of others which helped a lot. We also attended some local infertility seminars. We have met some amazing people through these two things. It gave us hope, showed us we weren't alone, and provided us with different options and scenarios. We were able to learn about treatments that were offered and see a basic road map of where this all could go.
When we were deciding which doctor to go through in the very beginning we decided to go through the OBGYN. If it was a basic problem that could be solved easily we decided it would be sufficient, then we could move on to a specialist if it got to that point.
We did a lot of research and got a lot of recommendations from others. We looked up reviews online and then selected which doctor we would go to. It was a much easier decision for us to pick which specialist we would see. We had been to seminars where all the fertility centers in the area were represented. We connected with Utah Fertility Center much more than the other ones. All of the offices around are great but it came down to personal preference. If you choose a doctor but then feel there could be a better option you can always switch and get a second opinion.
The second most important thing I would suggest next to following your feelings and instincts would be to find a doctor you are really comfortable with. You will be answering a lot of personal questions and be spending a lot of time at the office you choose. It's important that you feel comfortable. Yes, all the questions and procedures are awkward, especially at first, but it would be worse with a doctor you aren't comfortable with.
I know that all of this can be very overwhelming and hard. It was hard for us to make the first steps forward but it has all been worth it, just to get closer to having our baby in our arms. All the pain and heartache will someday be replaced with so much joy and happiness.
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