Four years ago today we found out we were pregnant for the very first time. It was such an exciting day for us. We had been waiting 8 months for this and it was finally happening. We couldn't have been more excited. We immediately started talking about what the coming months would bring, talked about baby names for both genders, etc. Of course all that excitement only lasted a few weeks. We would soon learn that we miscarried our baby, then find out we were actually carrying twins and the second baby was ectopic. Our babies would have been three years old. They would have been in our sunbeams class right now. When I look at the cute children in our class, I often wonder what our little ones would be like.
Each pregnancy after the first was much different. The second time we found out we were pregnant we were still excited, but we were really scared too. We didn't talk as much about what the coming months would bring and about plans for a baby. We just wanted to make it past the first few months. Each pregnancy after followed this same pattern.
We have been thinking quite a bit about this as preparations have started for our IVF cycle later this year. Of course we will be so excited if we are told it works but there will be some apprehension as well I am sure. We are going to just want to get past the first couple months and make sure everything is alright. It is going to be scary time no matter what. It is going to be nerve wracking making sure everything is alright, and it is also going to be scary, thinking that it may not even work at all. We are taking a huge leap of faith putting everything into this as Heavenly Father has been guiding us to do. We know that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. Just the thought of the chance of us being able to have a baby that is ok is so exciting, and we know it will happen someday.
As we have been thinking a lot about the babies we lost over the past few weeks, and as we move forward into February with the 4 year mark for everything that took place with our first pregnancy, it is sad to think about our 6 little ones we have lost. I have a good friend that shared a video though and it really helped me. It gave me a little bit of a new perspective on our little ones. Here is the video: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQJX4QWO74I)
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Friday, January 1, 2016
The Car: Setback or Miracle?
As many of you know, since I posted it on Facebook, we ended up having to get a new car. I have had a few people ask if this is going to postpone our IVF. I wasn't originally going to post about it. It is a personal story that I didn't originally really want to share. However, recently we have been being pushed to share. This whole thing was quite an experience for us.
One day Taylor called me at work and told me that the check engine light in his car came on. I told him to just call the place we normally take it and see if they could get us in. They told Taylor that they wouldn't be able to get him in until the following Tuesday, and this was on a Thursday. He set up the appointment and we both continued on with our days. However, while at work I had a distinct prompting that I needed to call Taylor back and tell him he needed to take the car in that day. I called him and told him. He said he would get off work early and go to a different shop. We looked up a different shop and he headed there. When Taylor showed up to that shop it had a note saying they moved to a new location so Taylor called them to get the new address. On his way to the new shop Taylor had a feeling that he shouldn't be going to this shop and he needed to go to the place we normally go to. He didn't know why because they had already told him they couldn't get him in until Tuesday.
Taylor went to the normal shop anyway. He explained the situation and that he felt he really needed it looked at that day. They agreed they would look at it but it would take longer than normal. We told them that was fine and Taylor waited for them to come back with the results. When the results came back they said it was just the gas cap that set the light off. So it was very minor. However, they said when they were doing some checking they found some bigger problems with the car even though the check engine light wasn't for those. They said belts needed to be replaced soon, spark plugs, an oil leak, and a few other items. Holy smokes! Talk about everything coming all at once! We always do routine service on our cars so this was really unexpected. Taylor called me and told me the diagnosis and asked about the other repairs. They were recommending them but said we could probably wait a little bit to do all the repairs. I told Taylor to wait since it was about $2,000.00 (heart attack) for everything. We didn't want to have to pull from the baby fund to pay for the repairs. We wanted to wait a bit and come up with the difference we needed. It makes it easier that the biggest majority of the baby fund is in an account we have a hard time getting access to. We did that on purpose so it would take some time to get anything from the biggest part of our baby fund.
I hung up with Taylor and went back to work. I had a crazy strong feeling come over me. I had the feeling that I needed to call Taylor back and tell him to do the repairs right then. Ugh! Really? I really didn't want to. I looked at our budget and it would meaning taking a little bit out of the part of the baby fund that we had access to. I didn't want another setback. I tried to ignore the feeling but it came back strong that I needed to do this. I called Taylor back and told him to do the repairs right then. It took Taylor by surprise. He said he felt they needed to be done soon but didn't know it would be that soon and agreed we should follow the feelings and do it. We would just work hard to get the baby fund back to where it was.
They did the repairs and during that time Taylor came home. I was quite upset and Taylor gave me a blessing. In the blessing it said that it was very important that the repairs be done that day. We were told that if we would have waited there would have been some sort of malfunction with the car and Taylor would have been seriously injured. It would have included an extensive recovery, postponing graduation from school, losing his internship, etc. It would have cost much much more than the repairs we were facing. I was also told it was crucial we went to the place we went because they would be the ones to find what needed to be done to prevent the accident. What a miracle we took the car in at that time and listened to the promptings! I felt horrible after that about being upset about the repairs at that time. Of course we would much rather do the repairs that deal with the alternative. I shouldn't have questioned even for a moment!
When Taylor went to pick up the car he talked to the mechanic. The mechanic was talking to Taylor about the car and he kept saying he was so happy we did the repairs that day. As he was changing the belts they were falling apart on him. He kept saying how happy he was that we did the repairs right away. That confirmed everything from the blessing.
Everything went fine the next few days. Then I got another call from Taylor saying the car check engine light came on again. Really? Weren't we supposed to be done with this. I took the car in and they fixed another part. While we were there though they said while they were fixing that part they noticed the axles were breaking. We could still drive the car but it wouldn't be too much longer before we had issues. The cost? Another $2,000.00!!!! This for sure would be a huge setback for our baby fund. There was no way we could do the repairs without a setback on timing for IVF.
I was really upset again. I didn't know what to do. I drove the car home and gave Taylor the news. He was at a loss as well. He didn't know what we should do. I started panicking about it. Taylor gave me a blessing to help me calm down. In the blessing it said everything would be okay and that Heavenly Father would help us to know what to do about the car.
We thought about it and prayed about it for days. We felt like we needed to change cars sooner rather than later. We started looking at used cars and we felt Heavenly Father's hand guiding us all through the decision. We researched cars online, narrowed it down to a few options, went and test drove a few and prayed some more. We finally decided on a used Hyundai Santa Fe Sport. The night before we made the purchase, we pretty much knew we were going to do the purchase but I was having anxiety issues again. I didn't want anything to postpone IVF. Taylor gave me another blessing and we were told that it was a good decision to get this car and we were told that we would still be able to continue to save the set amount we have been saving each month all the past year. We made the purchase the next day.
The day we made the purchase we headed back to our house after getting everything settled. There in the mail was a card from the dealer we bought the car from, and it had a cash deal for purchasing a new car. We texted our dealer and asked if we could get that because we got that in the mail the same day as the purchase. We had just went to the dealer first after work instead of going home first. They let us do it and were able to get that amount of cash back.
A few days later another miracle happened. I won't go into the details but we ended up getting the exact amount back, to the dollar, of the amount we had to take from the baby fund. There was no setback in the baby fund through all of it in the end! Not a single penny! What a miracle! There were so many miracles in all of this and we are so unbelievably grateful for the Lord's help in all of this. Even though we have to go through this trial with getting our baby here, the Lord cares. He loves us and wants us to know that He is with us. I think Heavenly Father knew that some big things would need to happen to get us trade in the car. We wanted to keep it as long as possible because we wanted everything possible to go to the baby fund. I think this was his way of getting us to get rid of a very unsafe car. In the end we came out in about the same situation from when we started. It makes me emotional every time I think about it. We have experienced so many miracles not just with this situation, but all through our infertility journey. The Lord has never left us through any of this. He is helping us get through this the best way possible! We are so blessed and grateful for the Lord's hand in our life, and all the direction and hope He gives us each day to keep going!
One day Taylor called me at work and told me that the check engine light in his car came on. I told him to just call the place we normally take it and see if they could get us in. They told Taylor that they wouldn't be able to get him in until the following Tuesday, and this was on a Thursday. He set up the appointment and we both continued on with our days. However, while at work I had a distinct prompting that I needed to call Taylor back and tell him he needed to take the car in that day. I called him and told him. He said he would get off work early and go to a different shop. We looked up a different shop and he headed there. When Taylor showed up to that shop it had a note saying they moved to a new location so Taylor called them to get the new address. On his way to the new shop Taylor had a feeling that he shouldn't be going to this shop and he needed to go to the place we normally go to. He didn't know why because they had already told him they couldn't get him in until Tuesday.
Taylor went to the normal shop anyway. He explained the situation and that he felt he really needed it looked at that day. They agreed they would look at it but it would take longer than normal. We told them that was fine and Taylor waited for them to come back with the results. When the results came back they said it was just the gas cap that set the light off. So it was very minor. However, they said when they were doing some checking they found some bigger problems with the car even though the check engine light wasn't for those. They said belts needed to be replaced soon, spark plugs, an oil leak, and a few other items. Holy smokes! Talk about everything coming all at once! We always do routine service on our cars so this was really unexpected. Taylor called me and told me the diagnosis and asked about the other repairs. They were recommending them but said we could probably wait a little bit to do all the repairs. I told Taylor to wait since it was about $2,000.00 (heart attack) for everything. We didn't want to have to pull from the baby fund to pay for the repairs. We wanted to wait a bit and come up with the difference we needed. It makes it easier that the biggest majority of the baby fund is in an account we have a hard time getting access to. We did that on purpose so it would take some time to get anything from the biggest part of our baby fund.
I hung up with Taylor and went back to work. I had a crazy strong feeling come over me. I had the feeling that I needed to call Taylor back and tell him to do the repairs right then. Ugh! Really? I really didn't want to. I looked at our budget and it would meaning taking a little bit out of the part of the baby fund that we had access to. I didn't want another setback. I tried to ignore the feeling but it came back strong that I needed to do this. I called Taylor back and told him to do the repairs right then. It took Taylor by surprise. He said he felt they needed to be done soon but didn't know it would be that soon and agreed we should follow the feelings and do it. We would just work hard to get the baby fund back to where it was.
They did the repairs and during that time Taylor came home. I was quite upset and Taylor gave me a blessing. In the blessing it said that it was very important that the repairs be done that day. We were told that if we would have waited there would have been some sort of malfunction with the car and Taylor would have been seriously injured. It would have included an extensive recovery, postponing graduation from school, losing his internship, etc. It would have cost much much more than the repairs we were facing. I was also told it was crucial we went to the place we went because they would be the ones to find what needed to be done to prevent the accident. What a miracle we took the car in at that time and listened to the promptings! I felt horrible after that about being upset about the repairs at that time. Of course we would much rather do the repairs that deal with the alternative. I shouldn't have questioned even for a moment!
When Taylor went to pick up the car he talked to the mechanic. The mechanic was talking to Taylor about the car and he kept saying he was so happy we did the repairs that day. As he was changing the belts they were falling apart on him. He kept saying how happy he was that we did the repairs right away. That confirmed everything from the blessing.
Everything went fine the next few days. Then I got another call from Taylor saying the car check engine light came on again. Really? Weren't we supposed to be done with this. I took the car in and they fixed another part. While we were there though they said while they were fixing that part they noticed the axles were breaking. We could still drive the car but it wouldn't be too much longer before we had issues. The cost? Another $2,000.00!!!! This for sure would be a huge setback for our baby fund. There was no way we could do the repairs without a setback on timing for IVF.
I was really upset again. I didn't know what to do. I drove the car home and gave Taylor the news. He was at a loss as well. He didn't know what we should do. I started panicking about it. Taylor gave me a blessing to help me calm down. In the blessing it said everything would be okay and that Heavenly Father would help us to know what to do about the car.
We thought about it and prayed about it for days. We felt like we needed to change cars sooner rather than later. We started looking at used cars and we felt Heavenly Father's hand guiding us all through the decision. We researched cars online, narrowed it down to a few options, went and test drove a few and prayed some more. We finally decided on a used Hyundai Santa Fe Sport. The night before we made the purchase, we pretty much knew we were going to do the purchase but I was having anxiety issues again. I didn't want anything to postpone IVF. Taylor gave me another blessing and we were told that it was a good decision to get this car and we were told that we would still be able to continue to save the set amount we have been saving each month all the past year. We made the purchase the next day.
The day we made the purchase we headed back to our house after getting everything settled. There in the mail was a card from the dealer we bought the car from, and it had a cash deal for purchasing a new car. We texted our dealer and asked if we could get that because we got that in the mail the same day as the purchase. We had just went to the dealer first after work instead of going home first. They let us do it and were able to get that amount of cash back.
A few days later another miracle happened. I won't go into the details but we ended up getting the exact amount back, to the dollar, of the amount we had to take from the baby fund. There was no setback in the baby fund through all of it in the end! Not a single penny! What a miracle! There were so many miracles in all of this and we are so unbelievably grateful for the Lord's help in all of this. Even though we have to go through this trial with getting our baby here, the Lord cares. He loves us and wants us to know that He is with us. I think Heavenly Father knew that some big things would need to happen to get us trade in the car. We wanted to keep it as long as possible because we wanted everything possible to go to the baby fund. I think this was his way of getting us to get rid of a very unsafe car. In the end we came out in about the same situation from when we started. It makes me emotional every time I think about it. We have experienced so many miracles not just with this situation, but all through our infertility journey. The Lord has never left us through any of this. He is helping us get through this the best way possible! We are so blessed and grateful for the Lord's hand in our life, and all the direction and hope He gives us each day to keep going!
A New Year!
I am so excited that it is a new year! 2015 wasn't all that bad, but I am looking forward to the things that 2016 will bring. So many big things are going to be happening. In a few days it will be the one year mark since we were told that IVF would be our last option for having a baby. I never thought we would be this close at this point from being told that. We still have a ways to go but we are definitely making progress.
2015 brought another great year for Making Someday. I still had tons of orders coming through and was constantly busy. I also was able to start putting together patterns for those who want to make books themselves. I just renewed my business license and will be continuing the business through at least 2016.
I am also so pleased with the physical success I have had during 2015. I lost a total of 31 pounds and I am still going! I am trying to get as far as I can before we dive into IVF this year. We ran 13 different races and went from running only a couple miles at a time to being able to run almost 10 miles!
I am grateful for what 2015 brought but I am just so excited to move forward with 2016. Taylor will be graduating and starting a career and we will hopefully be doing IVF as long as plans don't change! All of this brings some nervousness but we know that things will happen the way Heavenly Father sees fit!
2015 brought another great year for Making Someday. I still had tons of orders coming through and was constantly busy. I also was able to start putting together patterns for those who want to make books themselves. I just renewed my business license and will be continuing the business through at least 2016.
I am also so pleased with the physical success I have had during 2015. I lost a total of 31 pounds and I am still going! I am trying to get as far as I can before we dive into IVF this year. We ran 13 different races and went from running only a couple miles at a time to being able to run almost 10 miles!
I am grateful for what 2015 brought but I am just so excited to move forward with 2016. Taylor will be graduating and starting a career and we will hopefully be doing IVF as long as plans don't change! All of this brings some nervousness but we know that things will happen the way Heavenly Father sees fit!
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