4 Years Ago Today

Four years ago today we found out we were pregnant for the very first time. It was such an exciting day for us. We had been waiting 8 months for this and it was finally happening. We couldn't have been more excited. We immediately started talking about what the coming months would bring, talked about baby names for both genders, etc. Of course all that excitement only lasted a few weeks. We would soon learn that we miscarried our baby, then find out we were actually carrying twins and the second baby was ectopic. Our babies would have been three years old. They would have been in our sunbeams class right now. When I look at the cute children in our class, I often wonder what our little ones would be like.

Each pregnancy after the first was much different. The second time we found out we were pregnant we were still excited, but we were really scared too. We didn't talk as much about what the coming months would bring and about plans for a baby. We just wanted to make it past the first few months. Each pregnancy after followed this same pattern.

We have been thinking quite a bit about this as preparations have started for our IVF cycle later this year. Of course we will be so excited if we are told it works but there will be some apprehension as well I am sure. We are going to just want to get past the first couple months and make sure everything is alright. It is going to be scary time no matter what. It is going to be nerve wracking making sure everything is alright, and it is also going to be scary, thinking that it may not even work at all. We are taking a huge leap of faith putting everything into this as Heavenly Father has been guiding us to do. We know that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. Just the thought of the chance of us being able to have a baby that is ok is so exciting, and we know it will happen someday.

As we have been thinking a lot about the babies we lost over the past few weeks, and as we move forward into February with the 4 year mark for everything that took place with our first pregnancy, it is sad to think about our 6 little ones we have lost. I have a good friend that shared a video though and it really helped me. It gave me a little bit of a new perspective on our little ones. Here is the video:  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQJX4QWO74I)