Sunday, April 5, 2015

Forsaken?

I recently had someone ask me if I feel like God has forsaken me since I do not have a baby yet. I was surprised by this question and it took me off guard. There wasn't any question in my mind about what the answer was; no I do not feel forsaken because I do not have a baby yet. Things are exactly the opposite. Even though we do not have a baby yet, so many miracles have led us to where we are right now and God's hand has been in every little aspect of the whole thing.

As it is has been the Easter season I have had a lot of time to reflect on all the miracles that have led us to where we are now. There is no doubt in my mind that God is helping us and loves us so much. We have been so blessed even though we don't have a baby in our arms yet.

Most people view miracles as big huge things that occur, but so many miracles are missed when you are just looking for the big things. We have had so many miracles happen that there is no way we could ever deny that God is on our side.

It was a miracle that we got pregnant the first time after about 8 months of trying. We weren't just expecting one but we were having two which was a miracle. It was a miracle we were able to make it through the doctor appointments telling us that we were going to be losing the one baby that they knew about. It as a miracle I was prompted to go and get more blood work done. That blood work led to them finding the twin. It was a miracle it happened in such perfect time so that it could be taken care of before my tube ruptured and I lost my life. It is a miracle I am alive. It is also a miracle that I was able to receive enough strength and love from our Heavenly Father to let them give me the injection to end my second baby's life. God was there surround us with His love through it all. His heart was breaking with ours. I know He was there crying tears with us.

Through the next while, God was with us every step of the way. He was there with us through losing the next 4 babies. His heart was breaking right along with ours through each loss. It was a miracle that we were given the strength to keep going and try again. It was a miracle that we were given the finances to make it through the 3 IUI cycles and endure the emotions and heartbreak from each one. It is a miracle the way everything fell into place all along the way. Answers were received at the perfect times.

It was a miracle that we were able to feel so much peace and love surrounding us as we sat in the doctor's office hearing the news that we would not longer be able to move forward with treatment we had been looking forward to and would need to move forward with IVF. It is a miracle we were able to have the comfort in knowing that this was a good direction to take and it was for the better, knowing that the other treatments would have put my life in danger. It was a miracle that we had a doctor that was able to see the signs of what was happening and was able to tell us and warn us about the situation.

So many miracles have happened along the way and there is no way we could ever deny God's hand in our journey thus far. We are so grateful for Christ's life and the example He has given us. We are able to make it through these difficult times because of His sacrifice. He is always there. He is going through it all with us. Not only is He there through this time in our life but He is there through every little thing. We have hope for the future because of Him. We know that our ultimate miracle of having a baby in our arms will come. We know this because He has promised us. Just like He is there crying with us for the heartbreaking times, He is going to be there with us celebrating that amazing moment when we hold our baby for the first time. Because of Him we have hope for our future.

1 comment:

  1. Amberly, you are just amazing! Thanks for sharing your faith and testimony. You are an incredible example.

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