Two Years

At times thinking back two years seems like an eternity, and other times it seems like a blink of an eye. When I think back to two years ago, at times I think it has gone by so fast. We have done so many fun things and have had so many great opportunities. But then days like today come, and that fast two years can seem like an eternity. Our twins would have been two years old, or about that, today. October 6, 2012 was my due date for them. The pain from losing them has not went away. I don't think it ever will go away, but it has become bearable. Some days drag with the pain and heartache of our loss lingering while others go fast as we have hope for the future. Even though we wish so much that they were with us, so much good has happened because of them. We have met so many people and have been able to comfort others in similar situations. Our twins (as well as our other babies) have taught us so much. They are a huge part of our life and always will be. Even though they aren't with us in this life they still have a huge impact.

I thought a lot today about those who have to suffer from miscarriages. It is never easy, but it is so much better when you have someone who has been through it as well, that you can turn to. I was reminded of this even more today as a friend told me that she had another miscarriage. My heart hurt for her as I read her message. I felt the pain she was feeling as I remembered my own losses. I just wanted to help and comfort her and make it all better. Unfortunately it doesn't work exactly like that though. It takes time. I thought of all the people who have helped me through my losses in my life. We have countless people who have helped us through our losses giving us words of encouragement and have helped us to keep going when we thought we couldn't. Today, even though it was partly a sad and painful day, I am so grateful for my babies for giving me this life experience. I am so grateful for the lessons they have brought into my life. Because of them, I can be that person for someone else. I can be there to say, "I have been there too". I am grateful that these babies have not only blessed our life, but have blessed others. We can't wait to be with them again in the next life!