Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Making It Through The Holidays

A question I was recently asked is how we are able to make it through the holidays. I have been thinking a lot about this question so since I am up and can't sleep I might as well take the time to answer it. I have come up with my top three answers to that question even though there are more than that, but I will just focus on the three.

The holidays can be extremely difficult at times.  It is a very family and child centered time.  Children everywhere are excited for Santa to come and many traditions are centered around that.  For those struggling with infertility it can be very painful at times.

My first suggestion would be to stay busy.  Taylor and I have come up with things to do that we enjoy and our own traditions. We have been trying to enjoy the holidays to the the fullest.  Just because we don't have children to shop for and take to see Santa, it doesn't mean we can't do our own fun things still. The busier we are the less time we have to think about the pain.

Taylor and I have thought about all the fun things we would do for the holidays with our children. It's fun to think and dream about. It's something that we enjoy talking about and it gives us hope,  but we try to find a balance and not dwell on it too much to the point it is painful and frustrating. Even though we don't have a child of our own to spoil, that doesn't mean we can't spoil others children. We have spent quite a bit of time spoiling other children this holiday season and it has brought a lot of joy and hope into our home. Of course there still needs to be balance with this so it doesn't become painful. Even if it's painful to spoil the children in person it's fun to shop for children's toys to donate to anonymous children.

The third key thing that has helped more than anything is to keep our Christmas strongly Christ centered.  Having everything so centered on Christ has brought such a greater spirit and hope into our home. The message of Christ's birth is a message of hope and peace and we are all able to embrace that through any trials we go through. In a way Christmas has pulled us through the past month or so because we do have that constant reminder around us that there is hope!

Our holidays have been fabulous this year. We look forward to the holidays in the future when we will be blessed with a little one in our home, but for now we are just making the best of it all!

Friday, December 13, 2013

We Have A Plan

We finally have a set plan for what comes next in our infertility journey. Today was the day that we met with Dr. Foulk again. As always, Dr. Foulk was throwing humor into everything which was nice. He really is such a great doctor to work with.

Right now we have 2 options left. We can either do option #1, then if that doesn't work proceed with option #2, or we can just jump to option #2 and skip a step.

Option #1:

Try 3 more IUIs but with a different medicines. Instead of taking Clomid I would use Femara, FSH injections, and the HCG trigger shot. (cost $4500)

Option #2:

Invitro-fertilization (cost $15K-$20K)

There are pros and cons with each option. Since I did get pregnant with the first IUI there is always a chance it will happen again with IUI treatment. However the concern is that the pregnancy I had was another ectopic so my body didn't hold the pregnancy. There is a chance it also wasn't though, there is no way of telling. The only reason that the IUIs wouldn't work is if there were problems with my tubes that can't be detected. IUIs are also cheaper than IVF. The pro of IVF is that it would bypass the tubes. However it is a LOT more expensive.

After discussing it all with Dr. Foulk, he highly suggested starting with option #1. It doesn't cost as much, it still has a good chance of working from the things that we know for sure are going on, and less invasive. If it works that would be amazing and if not then at least we tried and will know for sure that IVF is the best option. If we jump to IVF we might always wonder if it would have worked going the other route. He did say we could jump to IVF though if that is the route we felt we needed to go.

We really trust Dr. Foulk's opinion and after discussing it further we have decided to go with option #1. We don't know exactly when this will all occur but we do know that is the direction we are working towards right now. We will start the next IUI treatment as soon as we have everything saved up, at least that is the plan right now. We are hopeful and excited having another plan in place. Now on to saving up and making it all happen.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Less Than 1 Week To Go

We officially have less than one week to go until our next consultation with Dr. Foulk. We have been getting pretty anxious for this appointment to come just because we are ready to figure out the next steps. We are ready to have a plan again, no matter what it may be. We have been thinking a lot and wondering what it will be, even though we have some idea in our minds what it may be. We are ready to find out how close our thoughts match up with Dr. Foulk's thoughts and expertise. We do realize that the plan may be hard to hear but we are ready for it. We are at peace knowing its all in the Lord's hands and what needs to happen will happen. We will be taken care of through it all. We are hopeful for the future and we know we will get a lot of questions answered on Friday. Its always exciting to move forward and closer to our miracle!

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Even a Miracle Needs a Hand

Taylor and I recently pulled out the old Christmas movies we would watch growing up. It was fun to see them all again since I haven't watched them in years. One of them really caught my attention though. I have been thinking a lot recently about miracles. I have been wanting to write a post on it for a while now as well but didn't know how to approach it. I received the question, "If you have been promised a baby, why are you working so hard to do treatments? Don't you think it will just happen when it's supposed to and how it's supposed to?"

This question can get pretty complex. Yes, we have been promised we will have children. However we don't know through what means that will happen. I believe Heavenly Father sometime needs you to put forth some efforts and do things on your part in order for Him to work His miracles. Of course He could just make it happen if He wanted to, but He knows better, and sometimes certain things are required of us first before the miracle comes. This is something that Taylor and I have prayed about and talked about so much and we know that we need to keep moving forward with treatments and do all we can to make our miracle happen. We don't know if our miracle will come eventually through the treatments or if it will happen on its own but we do know that we need to keep putting our efforts into it and keep doing all that we can. However, we do understand that this is not always the case for everyone. One of my best friends stopped treatment and after time she got her miracle without any treatments. In her situation all that was needed was time. That doesn't mean though, that efforts were not put in. A whole lot of faith, prayers, etc. were needed to make that happen. So we are moving forward having as much faith as possible, with many prayers, a lot of fasting, and moving forward with what we are able to do. In the end it all comes down to what His will is, and us aligning our will with His will. Everyone has their own path they need to take to get their miracle and we know this is what He wants us to do. We would never jump into something so huge without making sure its what He wants us to do first. Also, plans change so a few things may change after talking to Dr. Foulk but we are moving forward with the knowledge that we have and the answers that Heavenly Father has given us.

So now back to the movie and the part that caught my attention. The movie was 'Twas the Night Before Christmas and it was the part when they were talking about needing a miracle. Here are the lyrics to the song they sang:

Even a Miracle Needs a Hand

Miracles happen most every day
to people like you and me
but don't expect a miracle
unless you help make it to be

So you hope and I'll hurry
You pray and I'll plan
We'll do what's necessary cause
Even a miracle needs a hand

You love and I'll labor
You sit and I'll stand
Get help from a next door neighbor cause
Even a miracle needs a hand

We'll help our maker
to make our dreams come true
but I can't do it alone
So here's what we're gonna do

You hope and I'll hurry
You pray and I'll plan
We'll do what's necessary cause
Even a miracle needs a hand

We'll help our maker
to make our dreams come true
but we can't do it alone
so what are we gonna do

You wish and I'll whittle
You drip while I dry
Lets all try to help a little cause
Even a miracle needs a hand

Here is the video clip as well. This song pretty much summed up my answer to the question that was asked and it was exactly what I needed to hear when I watched it. It's amazing how Heavenly Father can help you to hear what you need to hear in different ways, and right when you need to hear it.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Why Not Adopt?

Another question that we get quite often is, "Why don't you just adopt?" Even though that question sounds simple, it really isn't. Have we thought about adoption? Yes. We have considered it and prayed about it, but the basic answer is it's just not for us right now. We are not against adoption in any way, and one day we definitely may end up adopting. We have done a lot of research on it and talked to many people about it. Even when we have those moments when we think it may be the route we should go, we quickly get confirmation its not the right time for us right now to adopt. We are definitely being led down the path of treatments and so that is the direction we are still going.

If we were ever to adopt I know I would love the child as much as if it were my own biological child. But there is still a part of my heart that longs for a child of our own. I want to go through morning sickness, the pregnancy up and downs, and birth of my own child. It's what I have always dreamed of. After being pregnant it just made me want to carry my own child to term even more.

I know this answer may not fully answer the question for some who have been asking, but it's simply the answer that I have. If Heavenly Father were suddenly to tell us to go down the road of adoption we would definitely do it full heartedly. It's just simply not the time for it or the path for it right now. We are heading in the path we have been directed until we get a different answer. Heavenly Father knows what he is doing and we are trusting in His plan.